Better Than Me
by ambrosesaysnope
Summary: "The side that knew her very well, knew that she didn't need to be in a relationship like that. He just wasn't good enough for her." CMPunkxOC. oneshot.


Disclaimer: I only own Audrina.

A/N: Quick one shot. Enjoy. Read & review!

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><p>Guilt rode on him like he was a roller coaster. His emotions went from slow to fast, going from loop to loop. Honestly, he was beginning to get sick. At first, being on the ride was fun and he felt great. But as time went on he began to grow sick. His conscience got the best of him, causing him to be paranoid. Almost like the belt that was holding him down was going to snap. If he didn't say something soon, that very same belt would snap, bringing him to his death.<p>

"Audrina!" Phil called, closing the front door behind him. "I'm home!"

He could faintly hear her voice from the upstairs bedroom. Sighing, he climbed the stairs slow purposely. The excitement in her voice when he called for her made him even guiltier. She had been with him through everything and he was about to break her heart.

A smile pulled at his lips when he saw her wearing his 'Best in the world' T-shirt. Her hair was hanging loosely and the shirt was a few sizes too large for her, but he'd never seen her look so beautiful. Smile in tact, he leaned against the doorframe and watched as Audrina sang out of key with the music.

After a minute or two, he pushed himself off the doorframe and tip toed inside the room. It was clear to him that she had no idea he was home. If she knew, she wouldn't have been doing what she was doing.

"Hey, baby." He greeted, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Audrina nearly jumped out of her skin, but quickly calmed down. She recognized that voice and instantly melted. No matter how much time they had spent apart, she knew nothing could change with them. They were just really in tune with each other. So it seemed.

Smiling, she turned around to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her brown eyes met his hazel ones. The impish twinkle in her orbs weren't hard to miss. She had something planned for them. With her being on the shelf with an injury and him being gone so much, Audrina grew to miss him terribly.

"Hi."

"Hi." He laughed, pressing his forehead to hers. "I missed you."

"Mhmm, I missed you too." She whispered, running her hands underneath his shirt. "Very very much."

Not being able to help himself, he pressed his lips to hers. Her knew there was a lot he needed to say before he went crazy, but he wanted to do this. Phil needed to feel her lips against his. The desire to feel her soft skin against him burned from deep within.

"God, I need you." Phil picked her up, carrying her over to the bed. "So bad."

The butterflies started swirling around in her stomach. Not in a bad way, rather in an excited way. From the moment she had woken up that day, she had looked forward to his home coming.

"How bad?" She asked, hooking her finger in his shirt and bringing him closer to her face. "Come on, Punk."

He gently pressed his lips to hers, gently biting on her lower lip. Her lips parted and his tongue entered her mouth. Tangling with hers they each struggled for dominance.

Breaking the kiss he looked down at her. Her blonde hair was tussled. The want and need for affection reflected in her eyes. God help him, he wanted to go further, but he couldn't. There wasn't any reason to add insult to injury. As much as he wanted to be with her he knew it wouldn't be right.

"I can't do this." Phil hopped off the bed, his eyes avoiding hers. "I really can't."

Audrina propped herself up on her elbows. Confusion was clearly written on her face. Just a few minutes ago he wanted her and now he was acting like a virgin on prom night.

"Is everything alright?" She wondered, getting off the bed. "You know you can tell me if there's a problem. I won't get mad."

Phil looked at her disbelievingly. Audrina wouldn't get mad? That was bullshit. It was well known that she had a temper. Unleashed only if she was pushed too far. He had seen it when they fought. It terrified him how much it mirrored his own anger. Every fiber of his being told him it was going to be a heated argument. As much as he loved her and regretted what he did, he knew his big mouth would make things worse.

"I don't know how to tell you this."

"Tell me what?"

Just by the tone of his voice Audrina knew that what he wanted to tell her wasn't going to be good. Tears were starting to burn underneath her eyelids and it felt like her heart was in her throat.

"Sit down."

"Fuck sitting down."

Holding his hands up, he slightly backed away. He hadn't said much, but she was already growing defensive. Phil knew that it was because she was sensing something wrong. Audrina by no means was stupid. While, she had a quick mouth, she could still be sweet.

"I love you a lot." He started saying, wanting to kick himself in the ass for being so cliche. "Words can't express how sorry I am. My actions are unforgivable."

"Phil, what are you trying to tell me?" Audrina asked, slowly stepping towards him. "Please, don't let it be what I think it is?"

His guilt ridden eyes met her tear ridden ones. That was all it took for his heart to shatter. He hadn't uttered the words he needed to say yet and he already felt himself crumbling. The always out spoken guy was beginning to feel like the scum of the earth.

"I cheated." Phil whispered, avoiding her gaze.

That was it, everything was tainted. Three years went down the drain. Trust that was so hard to gain in the first place crumbled to dust. Love that had taken so long to build now seemed like a lie. Two little words had brought their entire world tumbling down around them.

"It was just something that I never meant to happen happening. We were just being the friends that we usually were. One night, she just kissed me and I couldn't fight the urge. I returned her feelings. I just couldn't stop myself."

Audrina turned her back on him, not wanting to hear anymore. She knew she had to know. Otherwise it would eat her up inside if she didn't. As the girlfriend, she deserved to know.

"With who?" Audrina wondered, turning around to face him.

He was surprised she wasn't screaming. Actually, he would have preferred it to her crying. Seeing her cry killed him on the inside and it made him feel worse than he already did.

"Beth."

"My best friend Beth? Beth Phoenix?"

"One and the same."

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Breathing had become difficult, bringing her to the brink of passing out. The bomb he had just dropped brought her at a loss for words. Her boyfriend and her best friend were getting together behind her back.

"Its been going on for the last seven months."

"You guys have been doing this behind my back since my injury?"

Audrina added up the dates in her head. Seven months ago she had torn her quad and now she was in the process of healing.

"I didn't mean for it to happen."

"Of course you didn't. Nobody ever means for anything to happen!" She exclaimed, backing away from him. "I've given you three years of my life and you do this to me! For every little thing I've stood by you. Yes, we've had our bad times, Phil, but that didn't mean I walked away. I'm off the road for a few months and you guys do this!"

"I'm sorry."

"That's like the third cliche you've told me in the last ten minutes." She folded her arms across her chest. "I just don't understand why you guys would do this to me."

"I was lonely and I missed you-"

"You could have fucking called me or we could have Skyped." The blonde tearfully replied. "There were lots of ways to prevent this."

"Skyping and phone calls just aren't the same." He protested. "It doesn't make up for the fact that you weren't there."

"Is this still going on?"

Phil kept his eyes locked on hers, slowly nodding his head. They were in too deep to call it off. His best bet was telling Audrina and letting her go. Even if he still wasn't seeing Beth, Audrina still wouldn't want to be with him.

"I thought you were better than that."

The hurt blonde turned her back on him and started for her closet. Staying with him wasn't an option. Since he was still messing around with her supposed best friend, she wanted nothing to do with him. While, she still did love him, staying wasn't worth it. There wasn't a chance that she was going to be blind to what was going on around her. That just wasn't the kind of girl she was.

"Audrina, I don't know what to say." He followed her to the closet. "I wish I could take it back."

"I bet you do." She tearfully responded, throwing her things into a suitcase. "That will never change what you did. You cheated, Phil. With Beth of all people!"

"I really-"

"Save it, Phil. I don't care to hear it right now." Audrina snapped her bag shut and left. "I'll come back for my things when you aren't here."

Before she could walk away, he spun her around to face him. Without saying anything, he pressed his lips to hers. Audrina kissing him back made him feel better. Everything was still fresh, but she was still in love with him. He felt it.

"You deserve better than me." He whispered.

"Goodbye, Phil."

"I love you."

He watched her leave with no word or final glance.

Sighing, he went to go lie down. She had been gone five minutes and he already missed her. It didn't help matters that her scent lingered on the sheets. The scent that he had fallen in love with over the years.

"I fucked up."

Closing his eyes, he tried to block out everything that happened. The selfish part of him wanted her to stick around. But, the side that knew her very well, knew that she didn't need to be in a relationship like that. He just wasn't good enough for her.

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><p>AN: No mushy ending.


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